Before the deployment I was personally struggling with my faith. I couldn't grasp it...It was almost as if I could turn it on and off. And unfortunately my significant other and I couldn't see eye to eye on religion, making my struggle even harder. He didn't like the idea of a God, and I knew that this God he didn't care for was the only thing that kept me sane half of the time. We all turn to God in our roughest of times, so of course I was craving my usual time of worship closer to the deployment, but finding all of my time wrapped up in a human being that had already flipped my world upside down with his PT, briefings, formations, and oh so confusing military time...something needed to be changed.
It took me some time but I realized I was being selfish, I wasn't sharing my God, our God...with him. Maybe he never gave him a chance because he was never properly introduced to him. Sometimes that's just how it works.
So I set out on my mission, I bought a Bible (nothing fancy 12.95 @ Walmart) a pack of highlighters, and tabs. I then set out to figure out all of my favorite Bible verses and then some. I found verses for strength, courage, trust, love, and sadness. I even wrote side notes just in case he had questions. A few weeks before the deployment I presented the Bible to him, and he thanked me...but we didn't talk too much about it. Here and there he would ask questions, but nothing too serious. Then I had had it. I sat him down to explain how much God was apart of my life and how much I wanted him to be involved in everything that I do. He told me he understood and we had an in-depth conversation that night, I still felt like I got nowhere...but was relieved to express myself.
1 week before the deployment he had taken my set of dog tags that he had give me when we had first met...didn't say a word, just took them. He handed them to me with a smile, I looked at looked at them and where it once said "no religious preference" now read "christian".
Now even 7000 miles away he tells me about Bible verses he suggest I read :)
It took me some time but I realized I was being selfish, I wasn't sharing my God, our God...with him. Maybe he never gave him a chance because he was never properly introduced to him. Sometimes that's just how it works.
So I set out on my mission, I bought a Bible (nothing fancy 12.95 @ Walmart) a pack of highlighters, and tabs. I then set out to figure out all of my favorite Bible verses and then some. I found verses for strength, courage, trust, love, and sadness. I even wrote side notes just in case he had questions. A few weeks before the deployment I presented the Bible to him, and he thanked me...but we didn't talk too much about it. Here and there he would ask questions, but nothing too serious. Then I had had it. I sat him down to explain how much God was apart of my life and how much I wanted him to be involved in everything that I do. He told me he understood and we had an in-depth conversation that night, I still felt like I got nowhere...but was relieved to express myself.
1 week before the deployment he had taken my set of dog tags that he had give me when we had first met...didn't say a word, just took them. He handed them to me with a smile, I looked at looked at them and where it once said "no religious preference" now read "christian".
Now even 7000 miles away he tells me about Bible verses he suggest I read :)
My husband isn't a believer. He knows how important my faith is and he does have a Bible and his dog tags read Christian but he doesn't have a relationship with Christ, YET.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement. It really helped me alot. Praying for you and your husband's deployment.
Thank you so much! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so awesome! And so is your blog. What a great job! Glad you found me, because I can tell your writing is real and will be something I will come back to.
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you very much, im glad to hear that :)
ReplyDeleteHope to meet new friends too! Feel free to share your stories.